it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
