I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
