is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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