Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Found the puke drawer
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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