I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
