The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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