What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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