Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
You have to summon your inner elephant
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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