i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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