Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
