don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
