Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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