if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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