Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize