After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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