good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
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Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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