Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
this hospital has no fireball
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
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