Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
COCAINE IS GR8
Randomize
