my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
