My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize