it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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