I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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