Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
This toilet bowl is my home.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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