He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize