if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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