He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize