Texts From Last Night

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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.

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  (503): Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck. http://tfl.nu/nubl
  Replies (11) Good night (787) Bad night (1508)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.

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  (732): i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is. http://tfl.nu/s7zh
  Replies (16) Good night (5020) Bad night (1704)
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  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while

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  (787): 1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while http://tfl.nu/u6qo
  Replies (17) Good night (1416) Bad night (7320)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.

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  (513): And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool. http://tfl.nu/hylh
  Replies (4) Good night (4011) Bad night (956)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym

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  (508): It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym http://tfl.nu/opd7
  Replies (27) Good night (3783) Bad night (1368)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower

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  (250): I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower http://tfl.nu/dtnj
  Replies (14) Good night (6219) Bad night (1271)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.

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  (803): life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin. http://tfl.nu/2cdm
  Replies (15) Good night (3295) Bad night (1439)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off

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  (402): he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off http://tfl.nu/4yxi
  Replies (5) Good night (2937) Bad night (1033)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese

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  (215): she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese http://tfl.nu/9mra
  Replies (6) Good night (850) Bad night (1806)
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  (916): View more from California

  The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.

  (1-916): View more from California

  Try oodles of noodles this time.

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  (916): The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang. (1-916): Try oodles of noodles this time. http://tfl.nu/ou73
  Replies (8) Good night (3046) Bad night (698)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister

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  (303): I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister http://tfl.nu/4y4g
  Replies (5) Good night (2217) Bad night (742)
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  (432): View more from Texas

  she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.

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  (432): she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback. http://tfl.nu/m8zb
  Replies (18) Good night (3932) Bad night (868)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.

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  (405): All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head. http://tfl.nu/p2id
  Replies (2) Good night (605) Bad night (333)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  You're the horniest male I have ever encountered

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.

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  (334): You're the horniest male I have ever encountered (404): Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you. http://tfl.nu/3v94
  Replies (2) Good night (930) Bad night (398)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.

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  (989): You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over. http://tfl.nu/a38d
  Replies (1) Good night (475) Bad night (261)

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