i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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