no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.