No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?