Joe is yelling at the trees again.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
