their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Randomize
