I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
