last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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