Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
