What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize