Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
