look no pants
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
What a dumb baby whore.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
