I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Randomize
