I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
