This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
People in love make me want to vomit
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
