sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize