guys are not supposed to queef...right?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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