You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
