I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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