Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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