On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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