I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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