I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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