OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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