i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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