Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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