Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
