please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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