i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
