I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
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