i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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