his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
