Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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