Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
