I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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